IT often starts with a pair of tiny jodhpur boots by the back door. In many equestrian households in Ireland and elsewhere, children grow up with the soft thud of hooves as their morning soundtrack. Horses are not just part of the family routine; they are, in many cases, the family story itself.

But as more young riders speak about the pressures and privileges of growing up in the industry, a gentle but important question arises: Do equestrian families genuinely give their children enough choice?

To be fair, there is something undeniably magical about a childhood spent among ponies, my own string of mischievous ponies taught me everything from patience to pain tolerance. Many of today’s top riders credit their early start with giving them the instinct and intuition that underpin elite horsemanship. Learning to ride before you can reliably tie your own shoelaces can instill a sense of balance, resilience, and responsibility that stays with a person for life.

Intention and impact

Most equestrian parents simply want to share that joy, the quiet mornings, the partnership and the purpose with the children they adore. But intention and impact are not always the same thing.

For families who breed, train, or run yards, the lines between lifestyle and livelihood blur quickly. Children muck in (and out) because that’s what the equestrian day demands.

Feeding before the school run, grooming after homework, weekends spent ringside rather than pitchside. It’s not always framed as a choice because, frankly, there’s work to be done.

Parents often see this as character-building, and much of the time, it is. But it’s also easy for children to internalise the idea that horses are not simply one option among many, but the default setting of their lives.

One young rider recently told me, “It wasn’t that anyone said I had to ride. It was just that everything in my world already assumed I would.”

Few equestrian parents would dream of pushing their children. The pressure, when it exists, is usually soft-edged: the family pony waiting in the field, the hand-me-down show jacket, the unspoken pride when a child takes to the sport. Opting out of something that has shaped generations can feel, even unintentionally, like stepping off the family map.

Choosing horses

This is where the question of choice becomes gently complex.

Are children choosing horses because they love them, or because horses are simply what we do?

It’s worth saying clearly that growing up in the horse world can be a gift. Children learn empathy, patience, courage, and care qualities that serve them far beyond the stable yard. As we all know, many go on to build meaningful, successful careers in the industry, entirely by their own volition.

But others reach adulthood and realise they never explored alternatives. They never learned that it was acceptable, even healthy to say, “This life isn’t for me.” And that can sit heavily.

As a community, perhaps the responsibility lies not in giving children less horses, but in giving them more room. Room to try other sports.

Room to have weekends away from the ring. Room to say “I’m tired,” or “I’m curious about something else.” Room to grow into or out of the equestrian world in their own time.

Horses will always travel through families. It’s one of the reasons our Irish equine industry is so rich in history. But heritage doesn’t have to mean inevitability. The real strength of equestrian families may lie not in passing down the reins, but in knowing when to loosen them. Because the question isn’t whether children should be offered the chance to ride, of course they should. The question is whether they are invited, rather than expected, to step into the stirrups. And that’s a conversation worth having in every tack room, kitchen, and stable yard this Christmas.