SATURDAY/SUNDAY,
NOVEMBER 29TH-30TH

AFTER the six-day Goffs November Sale I arrive home to find my mother combing through Lucy’s hair as Alice suspects that she has returned form boarding school with nits. The merest scratch of a child’s head sends my dear wife into manic action and causes her to immediately carry out a meticulous protocol that would be the envy of any Ebola clinic. As 50% of my head is regrettably hairless and Ireland are about to start the second half against Australia, I declare myself free of the condition and head for a television in a different room. Ireland win, though the joy is somewhat tempered when Arsenal lose at home to Manchester United.