I, MORE than most, appreciate how fragile life can be and having literally come back from the dead, following a fall at Perth three years ago, am determined to make the most of what lies ahead. Having recently aborted a short-lived return to the saddle, I moved home to Ireland last month where I hope to forge a new career within the racing industry.

Horses have been part of my life for as long as I can remember; my father bought me a pony when I was very young and I was hooked from the beginning. My family are distant relatives of the McNamaras and Robbie and I competed against each other in hunter trials throughout our school days. Robbie had a very good pony named Lucky Linda, who won all the competitions around Ireland, and when he grew too big for her, we bought her and I continued that run of success, taking every prize in the country.

While I did receive a couple of proper riding lessons as a child, I essentially taught myself through trial and error, messing about on our farm at home. Later I rode out for my cousin Andrew McNamara and while in transition year at school, I got to spend a number of weeks with Charlie Swan where I completed my work experience.

After riding in a few open lightweights in point-to-points, I had my first ride on the track on a 14-year-old, Castlerueanna, in the banks race at Punchestown. In 2007, I received an offer to go to Britain and feeling that opportunities were limited at home, I took the decision to relocate there.

Over the next few seasons I rode close to 50 winners and my career was going well without actually reaching that next level. I was getting plenty of rides and winning on those that had realistic chances, but hadn’t hit the lucky stage where a jockey gets on a big race winner that propels his career to the greater heights.

However, I knew that some trainers half rated me, as I had gained a reputation as a rider that could get the best out of quirky and difficult horses. I was effectively stable jockey to a number of smaller yards and spread myself about as much as possible. On any given afternoon, I could ride four horses for four different trainers in the north of England.

As I got more established, I also began buying and selling horses, learning more about that side of the business, as it was a route I hoped to go down at some point in the future.

PERTH FALL

Arriving in Perth that fateful day in July 2013, I was confident of winning on Solway Dandy, who started favourite for his race. Everything was going to plan as we reached the third last hurdle but a tired, clumsy fall was to change my life forever.

I remember very little of what happened over the next few minutes, or indeed the following months but have been told I lost consciousness for seven seconds on track and basically came back from the dead.

I spent a total of 157 days in hospital, the first 10 of those in an induced coma. I was airlifted from the racecourse by ambulance and was given a 3% chance of survival when I was admitted to A & E. I was just very unfortunate on the day itself, as the ground was riding fast and my head hit the ground in the one spot that could cause maximum damage. In the years before that accident, I had fallen 73 times and only suffered four minor bone breakages.

I had a long hard recovery ahead of me but from the day I regained consciousness I was determined to defy the doctors and resume my career as a jockey. I knew I was facing an uphill battle as 99% of people said I would never make it back, that to be able to walk and talk again was a significant achievement in itself.

However, I was stubborn, wanting to prove not only to doctors and the BHA but also myself. I still firmly believe that if I didn’t have that long term goal of race-riding again, I wouldn’t have recovered in the manner that I did.

Sadly, as I discovered, the good wishes of the racing community throughout my period in hospital did not extend to my return to race-riding. I felt that people weren’t proud or happy that I made it back and many felt I should have pocketed the insurance payout and walked away. Despite constantly stating that money couldn’t buy my happiness, I felt that most believed I was foolish to return.

Although everyone I met was only too happy to come and congratulate me on my achievements, rightly or wrongly, I felt that deep down they didn’t really mean it. No one wanted to be the trainer to put me up on another faller and I found many doors were closed because of this potential occurrence.

Six months after my comeback I started working as assistant trainer to Dr Richard Newland, where I rode out and helped around the yard. However, by that time rides had started to dry up and I was feeling down in the dumps. Last month I had a chat with the boss and we both agreed that the time had come for me to retire from the saddle. I also felt that I would be better off returning home to Ireland to begin the next chapter of my career.

I am back just over a month now, living at home in Croom and looking forward to the future. Fozzy Stack has been very kind to me, inviting me to come and ride out at his yard. I am very grateful to Fozzy, as it certainly helps to get a wage and keep my eye in with racing.

However, he realises that I don’t want to do that job forever and hope to work in a different area of the industry if the opportunity arises. I am particularly interested in the media side of racing and have completed a course, as well as working for William Hill Radio and doing a screen test for Racing UK.

While I was in the north of England I also worked at Sedgefield Racecourse in the corporate boxes, chatting with punters and marking their cards for the day’s racing.

I really love meeting people and talking to people, so a role in sales, as a rep would also be something that attracts me.

There is still so much I want to achieve within racing and hopefully I may get the chance to do so now that I am back in Ireland. The recent death of my cousin John Thomas (McNamara) has hit me very hard and like all of the family I am finding if difficult. Since coming home I have spent a lot of time with his brother Aongus, who is a great help and inspiration to me. Longer term my big ambition is to train; something that has interested me since I was a teenager.

Right now I just feel I have too many other avenues to explore; when I do start training I want to be able to give it everything that I have got.

I have made a habit of beating the odds and proving people wrong and it would be wonderful to do the same with a training career.

Brian Toomey was in conversation with John O’Riordan