LEAD-IN coverage inevitably featured a replay of Sprinter Sacre’s reincarnation, trainer Nicky Henderson declaring: “Dreams do actually happen.” Clare Balding seemed to prefer Ted Walsh’s appraisal: “This isn’t Disneyland, this is Cheltenham.”

As for Nicky Henderson’s plans for his rejuvenated stable star: “Well, there’s the Lambourn Open Day on Good Friday!” More significantly, Aintree was ruled out. As for Punchestown, well, no mention of Punchestown.

Alice Plunkett and Ted Walsh waxed lyrical about the revamped Cheltenham enclosures, the winner’s enclosure in particular. Ted thought it now resembled an ancient Roman amphitheatre, gladiators emerging from a tunnel.

Alice marvelled at Ted’s unsuspected powers of imagery, until Ted went one further, declaring he would be happy to die in that very spot. Understandably aghast, she begged him to defer any such theatricals. With ghoulish timing an advertisement popped up for An Post, offering funeral expenses insurance for anyone aged between 50 and 75 for a bargain €50.

Clare reappeared with a positively portly Peter Scudamore, who regaled us with his recollections of riding at the Cheltenham Festival. “You’d say a Hail Mary and an Our Father coming down to the last.” Buster Harty was on hand to elucidate. He is pretty sure Peter’s mother, Mary, was one of ours. Mystery solved.

Clare switched to a piece on Victoria Pendleton. Seems 19 news crews are descending on Cheltenham to cover Victoria’s date with destiny in the Foxhunters’. Clearly determined to pre-empt that media circus, C4 showed lengthy footage of Victoria being put through her paces by trainer Paul Nichols, he who had quipped: “It’s tough when you have to go to the Fred Winter to get a winner.”

MILESTONE

A shambolic start to the opener saw Davy Russell unseated from the well-backed Zabana, his frustration visibly apparent. At the business end Ruby Walsh reflected on reaching his milestone Cheltenham Festival half-century – “Amazing.” He went on to say what satisfaction it had given him to equal Pat Taaffe’s 25.

Willie Mullins recalled Ruby’s first ride for him being a winner, in a Leopardstown bumper.

“He’s always in the right place in a race.” The real enormity of Ruby’s achievement became apparent when Clare disclosed that Ruby had opened his Cheltenham Festival account as long ago as 1998, on Alexander Banquet. No need to mention the trainer’s name.

The extraordinary ups and downs of the racing game were highlighted when Davy Russell bounced back to land the second. Simon Holt opined: “Davy Russell will be in a better frame of mind.”

For those who maybe tuned in late, Clare thought to add: “Half an hour after sitting on his backside.” Davy was magnanimous. “All credit to Pat Kelly. Bonfires will be burning tonight.” Winning owner Philip Reynolds carried on the theme, saying that Pat Kelly trains just five horses, two of them Philip’s. As for Philip’s late father, Albert: “My father’s in Heaven looking down. He loved it here.

Mick Fitzgerald had the last word, on Empire Of Dirt: “His form figures are more alphabetical than numerical.”