ONE of the advantages of living in an old house is that it is pretty easy to get a lot of fresh air without actually venturing outside. Ballinlough is 400 years old in parts and ventilation is certainly one of its more positive elements. Not only is the air inside the house fresh, but also generally reflective of the outside temperature. Therefore much of the “working from home” has been carried out in a few more layers than would normally be the case in the Goffs office.

Competition

Having agreed to a beard-growing competition with Henry Beeby for the duration of the office closure, I though perhaps this might assist in keeping me warm but sadly not. Apparently the possession of a cultivated beard, rather than a mere unshaven state, should be correctly defined as “wearing” a beard, a suitably ridiculous expression for my increasingly ridiculous accessory – it is not as if I am “wearing” an eyebrow, or a nose.

Anyway, instead of feeling inspired by bearded beauties like George Clooney or David Beckham, I have recurring nightmares of looking like Colonel Sanders, Gerry Adams or even Rolf Harris.

I am not sure how the judging will be conducted but, knowing how competitive Henry can be, I have googled beard-growing tips which returned a staggering 353 million results.

That should be enough reading to keep me busy for even the most pessimistic outlook on how long it is before I get to shave again.