IT’S all about rules and regulations this morning. Rule number one: a trainer shall be responsible for everything. Actually, that’s rule number 148(i), but it should be rule number one and it sets the tone for the morning until it’s time for the coffee and the custard creams.

Rule number two: buy a fax machine.

First things first though: everybody is here at the table. It’s a horseshoe-style set-up in the shape of the new Kentucky Derby trophy, the post-1999 one, not the old one, with Michael O’Donoghue at the top in the space, and the trainee trainers behind the desks that are the horseshoe around him.

Robbie McNamara is here, all set to embark on the new career that stretches out in front of him. Caroline McCaldin is here, she of Shaneshill and Yorkhill and Burton Port and Bindaree fame. Wants to get her licence now and kick on. Eamon Courtney is here, he of The Killarney Oaks Hotel, reckons you have to manage staff as closely in the racing game as you do in the hotel game. Paddy Corkery is here, he of Mrs Mac Veale fame, from Cappoquin in Waterford, and if the lads want tractors, he sells them too.

Joesph O’Brien is here too. Used to ride a bit, now thinks he might train a few.

Rules and regulations for four hours could get a bit monotonous but it doesn’t. It’s interesting and it’s interactive and it’s informative. Say Caroline trains number two, Hurricane Sky. She doesn’t, Charles O’Brien trains number two Hurricane Sky, but say Caroline does, just for this morning. She goes down to check her horse on the morning of the race, only to discover that he is lame. What’s the first thing she should do? Okay, after the expletive-run. What’s the first thing she should do after the expletive-run?

Let the Turf Club know, call the non-runner line – there is a non-runner line, honest – fax the racecourse. Call the jockey, call the vet. Be sure to fax the vet’s certificate within three days, otherwise it’s a €200 fine. If you don’t have a fax machine any more, you can scan it and email it, but you probably should have a fax machine. If there are reserves in the race, call the trainer of the first reserve.

That’s not a rule, you won’t find that in the rule book, but it’s the done thing. A gentleman’s/gentlewoman’s agreement. A reserve is a non-runner unless and until you put him in the race, so the more time you can give the first reserve, the better.

Say Eamon trains the first reserve, Massini’s Trap. He doesn’t, James Nash trains Massini’s Trap, but James Nash isn’t in the room, so say Eamon trains him, just for this morning. If he wants to run, he has to declare him now. Fax the racecourse. (See above re fax machine.) If he doesn’t, he lets Caroline know, and she gets onto the second reserve and the third reserve.

If the horse is coughing or has a nasal discharge, he can’t run again for seven days. If his bloods are wrong, he can’t run for 14. If a filly is in-season, she can’t run for four days. If a horse is withdrawn because of a change in ground conditions, that explanation is either accepted or it is not. If it is not, it’s a €200 fine.

If a horse is off-feed, if that’s the reason for withdrawal, it’s a €200 fine. That used to be accepted as an explanation, off-feed, but it isn’t any more. Lots of non-runners used to be off-feed but, since it isn’t accepted as an explanation, not so many.

BAD DEBTS

The tangents are also good, they are worth pursuing. Like, set your training fees at a realistic level. The small bills add up, be sure that you include them in your fees. And there is no system in place for trainers to deal with owners’ bad debts. There is the small claims’ court, but that’s difficult. The best remedy is to not have them, minimise the chances that they will develop.

Document everything, avoid the oft-implemented nod-and-a-wink billing system. Sure I’ll train him no problem, send me on a few quid when you get a chance. Document everything, send a monthly bill, keep communicating. Don’t be afraid to tell an owner that his or her horse is out of training until an overdue bill is paid. Easier said in a classroom set-up than carried in practice, of course. And the retention of the passport is not a remedy, the passport is the property of Weatherbys, not of the trainer.

That’s the other thing: photocopy each passport, front page and markings. That way, if the passport gets lost or the holder gets delayed on the way to the races, at least you can fax (remember, you bought a new fax machine) the front page and the markings pages to the racecourse so that the horse can run. You can send on the vaccinations record later.

TRUSTFUL STAFF

Surround yourself with staff that you can trust. That’s key, it’s paramount to the running of any successful operation. Eamon has cameras on the tills in the Killarney Oaks. You couldn’t watch the films 24 hours a day, but they are a deterrent and they can be useful. That will be covered in more detail later in the week.

It’s all good stuff, the new trainers engage and you can see how helpful it all is. Later today Bobby O’Ryan will be in to talk about buying and selling bloodstock. Later in the week Noel O’Brien will give a talk on the handicap system and Michael Grassick will be in to talk about the trainers’ association. Next week it’s Health and Safety with Catherine Fitzgerald, the week after it’s equine transport with Orlagh Rice, legal issues with Andrew Coonan.

The final session is remembering how to operate a fax machine with Viking Direct. It isn’t, but say it is. Just for this morning.