LOUGH Taggart House Hotel is the venue once again for the annual festival preview night in aid of Rathballylong Junior C GAA . The club is having a big push for promotion this year, although there appears to be an amnesty on the team drinking ban tonight. The venue is the same as it has been since 2009. The club committee negotiated a rate when the hotel was in Nama that makes the Guinness lease look like larceny.
The panel for the eveing is our veteran jockey, now into double figures for preview nights, unlike his winners total for the season. Our hero of the training ranks (remember he had that winner at the Festival in the ‘80s. No? He’ll remind you) makes another appearance. He’s not one to turn down a complimentary steak on a stone.
The local paper has sent the young guy from the sports desk and the bookmaker from Main Street is hoping to drum up a bit of ante-post trade.
It’s great to see our MC back on stage. The work dried up for a bit after he disappeared off the radio suddenly but the Fr Ted defence worked and he’s back this evening.
Start time was scheduled for 8pm so they get going at 9.45pm. Rather than kick off with the Supreme, they revisit our Cheltenham-winning trainer’s moment in the sun. The video plays, presumably in the hope that he won’t recount the story. He tells the story, a verbatim recollection unfamiliar to nobody.
Eventually, the Supreme – our bookie runs through the prices. He’s hoping for a repeat of last year when a few of his friends from the pigeon racing scene tipped him off about Labaik.
Our weighroom veteran proceeds to ridicule all of the English horses’ novice form and surmises whatever Ruby rides for Willie will win. Despite the performance of Getabird the panel conclude it isn’t a vintage renewal.
DEPTH
Similar comments apply to most of the novice contests, apart from the Arkle where Footpad looks “a cert”. The race “lacks depth” even with the horses who finshed around Footpad in the Champion Hurdle all going.
The one novice who ignites the panel is Samcro. Our bookie is petrified, the boy from the paper, who got asked for ID at the bar earlier, has never seen a better horse. The trainer helpfully points out Arkle was probably better. The jockey says“Ruby, Davy, Barry, Paul, Jack all love this horse,” and adds “he would be value at any price.” The MC wonders how a jockey could be an expert on betting value – a rare silence follows.
The bookie is worried at the lack of ante-post action on any horses not called Samcro or Apple’s Jade. He is an intriguing young man, who has shown incredible entrpreneurship. He was a cashier for his uncle’s chain of betting shops.
In 2008, he bought a handful of shops from his uncle (allegedly with assistance from his pigeon racing associates). Quite a move by one so young. Then in a remarkable turn of events , his uncle got into enoromous trouble with the banks and had to emigrate for more lax bankruptcy conditions. Luckily for our man, the shops he procured have remained trading while the shops the banks took couldn’t be given away in a fire sale. He’s hoping to expand this year then sell up in a couple of years and buy a Rolls Royce.
MACHINE
The panel’s patriotic consensus is Faugheen’s “a machine” and he will definitely beat Buveur D’Air, if he runs in the Champion Hurdle. When asked about Faugheen’s two recent defeats, the trainer shrugs and sayd “wouldn’t worry about it, these things can happen, sure they are not machines.”
They all put up My Tent Or Yours as a bit of each-way value, due to lack of imagination or any insight into what else is actually running in the race.
The Champion Chase causes ructions, with two votes each for Douvan and Altior. Our veteran trainer thinks connections should just run Douvan, “even at 75% he’s better than anything else in the race”. The races Politilogue won are “soft” and if Willie or Gordon had sent runners over, they would have “lapped him”.
Apple’s Jade is a “cert” in the Mares’ and there’s no gelding that could give her 7lbs in the Stayers’ Hurdle, but she will stick to the mares. The MC asks about the Long Walk Hurdle form, none of the panel has seen the race as they were doing their Christmas shopping that day and don’t have Racing UK. They narrow the Stayers’ Hurdle down to Yorkhill, Penhill, Bellshill, Killultagh Vic or Vroum Vroum Mag as it’s non-runner-no-bet.
The very mention of the Triumph vexes our veteran trainer and jockey, the race has “no place” at the Festival it’s just for “flat rats” and we move on. When asked if Frankel might sire a first Festival winner, a Roy Keane style thousand yard stare is the only response proffered.
SHOUTED DOWN
The Gold Cup is “wide open”. Only the kid from the local paper has actually seen the King George but his defence of Might Bite gets shouted down. The panel remind him and us that Might Bite is by Scorpion so he could “do anything”. Despite his form they “wouldn’t back him”.
Djakadam is the one they all go for each-way, as he has “good course form” and “it is a race Willie would love to win”. The panel nod in unison like parishioners at a rosary.
PREDICTIONS
Time to wrap and some predictions before the Q&A
Our veteran trainer thinks the Irish horses will struggle to repeat the success of last year, although he does have doubts about much of the English form. He tips Samcro. The bookie wants anything but Samcro to win or he’ll have to sell up to Paddy Power.
Our weighroom veteran shouts abuse at the the bookie for four or five minutes before securing 10/1 about the Samcro/Apple’s Jade double as it’s “for charity”; he also gets a deuce on for “his brother” and 5/1 for the audience.
The weights for the handicaps are out, so an audience member inquires about our jockey’s likely sole ride. “Ah, he might have a chance, but the English handicapper was very harsh on him.” The MC pointed out he’s only 3lb higher than his Irish mark.
J: “But he got hammered for his last run.”
MC: “He only got 4lb for winning a hot looking handicap hurdle.”
J: “But he only won a nose.”
MC: “But you went from last to first in a furlong and never moved your hands.”
J: “He’s just that kind of horse, he was actully fairly empty.”
MC: “But you couldn’t pull him up.”
J: “He’s been very harshly treated, we’re sick, not sure if he’ll even run now.”
Oddschecker is now a sea of blue as the entire audience attempts to back the horse. At least they learned something. J