WITH Alice’s birthday fast approaching, I made a big effort to secure Coldplay tickets when they went on sale last Friday. I arrived in Goffs unusually early and, well ahead of the 9am ticket release, had a number of computers open on the relevant website in the hope that it might increase my chances of being able to buy. To no avail, I am afraid and, with the birthday approaching, there is little chance of solving that conundrum in time.

Maybe I should take her instead to The Square shopping centre in Tallaght and hope to get stuck in a lift. I read last week of a lady who was awarded €25,000 damages after such a fate befell her in 2012. The poor lady was stuck in the lift for a whole - wait for it - four and a half minutes.